May 2013
hotlocalsingle:
DONT SIT ON TOP THIS DICK IF U SCARED OF HEIGHTS
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
richard-sp8-jr:
in first period a girl got dress coded for wearing a tank top with a jacket over it and this scrawny little boy stood up and yelled “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SKIN THE SKIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME HER SHOULDERS ARE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO MUCH” and the teacher got so annoyed with him that she didn’t get to dress coding her
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plantkitten:
ideal date : burning paper in your backyard then making out
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sorryforpartybarackin:
the best kind of people are the really cute ones that you wanna cuddle and drink hot chocolate and go for walks in the park and watch dumb movies and build blanket forts with but also slam up against a wall and fuck their brains out
kapooyah:
bellabracha:
what even IS american culture
it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value
i don’t get it
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dragonsandjackolanterns:
first kisses ☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ
french kisses (＝⌒▽⌒＝)
short kisses (✿◠‿◠)
long kisses （＠＾▽＾＠）ノ
sleepy kisses (◡‿◡✿)
platonic kisses (︶ω︶)
romantic kisses (“⌒∇⌒”)
passionate kisses (´ω｀★)
goodbye kisses (●´‿｀●)
kisses (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫･*:.｡. .｡.:*･
jaseherondale:
childrapist666:
edwad:
jaseherondale:
Did you know that in Australia it’s five times more likely that you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather than looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love
yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian
i am waiting for an ugly australian to add their selfie to this post pls do it is...
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
hiptoyourjive:
accept free drinks to financially cripple the patriarchy
ballerinahomicide:
trapghoul:
the fact that women’s healthcare seems to be a joke among men is sickening.
lance armstrong loses a testicle and everyone’s like “oh man must have been so hard for him poor guy losing his manhood LIVESTRONG” and angelina jolie gets the jokes after her mother died from cancer and she’s trying to protect herself????
most accurate post on tumblr
undeadlife:
If you actually think physical attractiveness is important in a relationship, you are not shallow. To make a good relationship last you have to be physically and mentally attracted to the person. I am tired of seeing people being called shallow simply because they are looking for someone attractive to them, mentally and physically.
You are shallow when physical attractiveness is the...
br0samabinladen:
when i die someone put this on my tombstone
people-should-all-be-onions:
mydarlingangelgabriel:
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE
#why do we all know exactly what is happening in this post
peevesies:
i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
ejacutastic:
copacetic-peace:
ejacutastic:
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
Floppy piece of flesh….. Incorrect
HOW IS THAT INCORRECT WHAT THE FUKC ELSE IS THAT
Pretty White Boy Thinks You Should Feel Good About...
richarcl:
the bags under my eyes are as dark as my soul
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distortionparty:
sending someone nudes is fun the first few times, but then eventually it’s like
and then you try to change it up all
jhahahahhahha
stolenpandorica:
elisetheawesome:
kyoukokiriqiri:
why do we call periods “periods” when we can call them something cooler like “bloodstain fever”
or ”the crimson horror”
are u guys okay
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seifukucat:
i wear the maid outfit in this relationship